You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
