OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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