a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
