sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
