just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
