Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
