all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
