I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
