I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
