I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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