Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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