Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I FOUND THE LEGS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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