i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
