Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
