I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
