You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize