Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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