So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
