Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
