LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
