I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
