My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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