Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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