Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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