everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The power of my boobs compel you
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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