I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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