I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
