well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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