She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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