OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
