OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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