i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
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I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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