Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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