what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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