I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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