I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
