How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
