Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
