make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just high enough for therapy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
