eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
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