D3 body, D1 cock
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
