there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
