do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Text me some of your sweat
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
