Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
