Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
