I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My life is pants optional.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
