in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
