My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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