If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
