something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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