I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
