i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
