I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
