Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
