Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
