there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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