some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
