Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
